To: Heidi Klum
From: Meredith
Re: your figure
Dear Ms. Klum,
I'm writing in regards to the recent video clip I saw of you talking about heart health, where you mentioned that you had a baby three months ago. I couldn't help but notice that in that clip, you looked like you've not only never been pregnant, but probably haven't ever had a cheeseburger or brownie sundae, either.
Since I am human and the idea of a traditional weight loss program makes me break out in hives, I expect it will take me about 425 years to work off the 30 pounds I gained during pregnancy while sitting on the couch eating giant vats of chocolate ice cream swimming in hot fudge (and I don't regret a single bite). I realize you are not human, you are a supermodel, and therefore you must have access to some kind of magic weight loss program, pill, and/or therapy I could benefit from.
I appreciate you sharing this information with me at your earliest convenience. As I know you realize, summer is not as far away as we think and I have a 4 year old daughter who expects me to get in the pool with her this summer. If expected to actually use the treadmill, weight set, and Wii fitness program in my basement, I won't be pool ready until my daughter no longer has interest in going to the pool with her parents.
As a side note, I also noticed how well rested you looked. Please send your make-up artist and team of nannies to my house along with your weight loss solution.
Thank you for your cooperation with this urgent matter.
Auf Wiedersehen,
Meredith
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I'm with you on this one- Heidi looks absolutely ridiculously gorgeous, both pregnant and immediately following- and she's had twice as many kids as us! Not fair, I say. But I wouldn't trade our brownie sundaes for anything, either, so we're on the same page on that one.
Post a Comment