Oh, Honestly....

Do they make pacifiers for adults? Oh, I bet they do, they're just marketed under a different name: wine.

I spent the morning trying to get Punkin to sleep because "they" say infants should only be awake for an hour and a half at a time. We were on the 3 hour mark when he started to drift off. I slowly walked up to my office and twisted back and forth in the chair while trying to read and type emails with one hand, occasionally double checking to see that the pacifier was still in his mouth.

After a few minutes, with his eyes closed, the pacifier started falling out. I tried to catch it before it landed somewhere out of reach but it bounced off his shoulder and straight into the garbage can under my desk with a loud clang. This, of course, startled him. He woke up and we spent the next 45 minutes pacing the floor while I wondered if Heidi Klum got her figure back by the same type of activity.

He drifted off again, with the pacifier in his mouth (after I washed it, of course) and I set off to his room to put him in his crib.

Trying to cause the least amount of disturbance, I shifted my arms trying to get him in the crib and in the process the pacifier fell out of his mouth again. Now it was on the floor. Before I could bend down to pick it up (moving at the pace of a Golden Girl after a few drinks so I wouldn't wake up Punkin), the dog licked it.

Sigh.

Since I was already in motion to the floor, I continued and picked up the pacifier without disturbing Punkin.

I wasn't the one who woke him up... this time it was the dog as he licked Punkin's face.

Back to pacing the floor while I dream of the next bottle of shiraz...